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Meet the Devs: Kevin Sisk

Kevin Sisk


[h3]Tell us a bit about yourself and your role at Crowbar Collective.[/h3]
Hello, my name is Kevin Sisk, and I was initially brought onto in late January 2007 to voice the security guard NPCs in Black Mesa.
Over time, I slowly branched out into other departments and lent a helping hand. Departments such as:

- Audio Editing for the Character(s) Dialog,
- Sound Design here and there for things like the overhead vox systems, the retinal scanner (one of my favs), etc
- Recorded some alien voices/SFX, etc.
- Worked bunch on the in-game scenes /choreography,
- Even have done a bit of 3d modeling for a few things.
Oh yeah, I also voiced the Gman...tee hee.

[h3]What software did you use for your work?[/h3]
For straight-up voiceover editing, I typically used Adobe Audition 3.0, and FLStudio for some of the more electronic-based sound design bits I did on the project.

[h3]Do you accept pineapple on pizza or are you against it?[/h3]
All I know is my gut says "maybe"

[h3]How often do you watch youtube videos/Twitch streams of Black Mesa?[/h3]
Pretty often. I always look for YouTubers who have never experienced the Half-Life saga in any shape or form. I’m always surprised to see when someone decides to play "Black Mesa" first instead of Half-Life then goes straight into Half-Life 2 afterward.

I suppose this is a testament to the good word-of-mouth that Black Mesa gets for being a respectful recreation of the original even though we put our spin on things in quite a few places.

That said, I would encourage ppl to play the original HL at some point, so as to better understand and appreciate the historical significance it brings to the first person shooter genre, and how far the HL series has come since that first outing.

[h3]Any favorite mods for Half-Life games?[/h3]
The Hunger" was a favorite of mine back in the day. Good zany zombie-killing fun.

[h3]What kind of microphones & preamps were used to record your vocals?[/h3]
For Microphones, I used an MXL 990 condenser which currently interfaces with a Focusrite 2I2 USB Preamp.

In the earlier days, the 990 would have instead plugged into a Behringer Eurorack 1202 analog mixer and then that mixer’s output went into an M-Audio Delta 1010LT sound card.

It was good for the regular conversation type vo and shouting loudnesses, but the noise floor on the mixer made the more whispery stuff a little tough to handle in post. Once I got the Focusrite though, the newer recordings had like 15+ dB less noise overall and made my life a lot easier.



BOOM. HEADSHOT.
NOW - ISH (2018)



THEN (2009)

Meet the Devs: Shawn Olson


Shawn Olson

[h3]Tell us a bit about yourself and your role at Crowbar Collective.[/h3]
I got into Half-Life and Counter-Strike when they first came out. I immediately got into level design in Worldcraft and modeling in 3ds Max. I made several CS maps for my local gaming group over the years and moved to Hammer when Source came out. My desire to make some more artistic levels was hindered by the unfriendly tools in Source. Fixing what I felt to be a broken pipeline turned into a decade-long adventure of creating Wall Worm, becoming the technical artist on Black Mesa and Product Owner at Autodesk for 3ds Max.

I’m a family man who doesn’t really watch much TV or even play many different games. I have been playing the same set of multiplayer games for decades now (CS and Battlefield mostly, though recently Pubg too). The way I see it is that a game doesn’t get boring just because it’s old--just like basketball never gets old for me. I play CS with my family and close friends; if I’m not playing with people I actually know, my interest wanes quickly. When it comes to single-player games, I get more enjoyment from creating games than from playing them.

At Black Mesa, my role ranges from building pipeline tools between 3ds Max and Source to making some assets here and there, assisting other artists to complete their tasks and teaching teammates how to use various functions and workflows.



[h3]What do you enjoy the most about Black Mesa?[/h3]
There are many things that I love about Black Mesa. For me, as cool as Black Mesa is, the game itself pales in comparison to the opportunities it gave me. Most importantly, I’ve made some great friends. Professionally, Black Mesa helped add a higher level of legitimacy to my work with Wall Worm in the eyes of a wider audience. Black Mesa gave me the opportunity to learn to work with others in a way I had not really done before; facing the challenges of working with a remote group of talented but wildly diverse personalities was a valuable experience for me.

[h3]What was the most challenging hurdle that was overcome during development in your role?
Hammer.
[/h3]

One of the things I hoped to accomplish when I was hired in 2015 was to move the whole team to a 3ds Max pipeline that did not use Hammer. While I was well acquainted with the Source community’s deep attachment to Hammer, I naively expected it would be different on our team. As it turned out, I was never able to get our level designers to embrace 3ds Max. They saw the value in what the artists were doing with Max by sculpting the landscapes, but for one reason or another, the level designers did not want to make the leap.

So we settled on a hybrid pipeline of Hammer to Max to Hammer. The challenge for me was that I knew the file formats, capabilities, and limitations of both Hammer and Max better than anyone else--so knowing that the hybrid method of constantly round-tripping exported data was not ideal weighed on me all the time. Iteration was severely hampered because of this, in my opinion. This was probably the greatest frustration I had.

Eventually, I gave in to the reality that the setup we had was not going to change. It worked well enough for the rest of the team to be satisfied, and some of the conventions we developed did make it a little more smooth over time. Learning to accept that was a valuable lesson for me--you may believe you have the right way to do something, but there are always many ways to skin a cat. In the end, we were able to make a game that we all get to share pride in.

[h3]What software did you use for your work?[/h3]
3ds Max.

[h3]Did you go to school for your respective parts of the project?[/h3]
No. I actually dropped out of high school. There are many paths to education. I don’t recommend that path for all people, but the only thing you really need for most fields is a willingness to learn and make yourself better. If you really want to learn and you set goals for yourself, you can learn what you need to succeed. Education should be seen as a lifelong journey.

[h3]Any recommendations for people wanting to get into game design?[/h3]
Just do it. It seems cliche, but that’s my view on a great many things. You learn by doing things. That’s how I’ve always approached everything. It’s also what I’ve tried to instill in all of my children. My son wanted to be a fitness trainer… I’m glad he just decided to do it! The same principle certainly applies to games.


[h3]How did you resist getting burnt out over such a long development process for Xen?[/h3]
I started in 2015, so I didn’t have to wait as long as most of the other members. For the most part, I didn’t have to resist burnout. Even with a few frustrations, I felt lucky to be part of the Black Mesa adventure. Working with creative people invigorates me. And the guys became my friends. Below is a picture of Brian Dale and I visiting the Wright Patterson Airforce Museum together.


Meet the Devs: Brian Dale

Brian Dale


[h3]Tell us a bit about yourself and your role at Crowbar Collective.[/h3]
I’ve been with the team from the beginning. I’m the 2nd oldest (was the oldest until Craig joined). I originally started as a concept artist and that role changed many times over the years. I eventually moved to a 3d artist/ environmental artist.

[h3]What do you enjoy the most about Black Mesa?[/h3]
Learning how to do new things and meeting a bunch of cool artists over the years.

[h3]What was the most challenging hurdle that was overcome during development in your role?[/h3]
My lack of personal time to work on things usually around the holidays due to my real job and having to shoehorn things into an outdated engine.

[h3]What software did you use for your work?[/h3]
Photoshop, Substance Painter, Quixel suite, 3DS max, silo3d, World Machine, and blender.

[h3]What was your first experience with Half-Life?[/h3]
The original game that came out in 1997.
Did you go to school for your respective parts of the project? No, I am in the medical field. I started working on the mod as a hobby.

[h3]Any recommendations for people wanting to get into game design?[/h3]
Start using a 3d modeling program and practice, practice, practice. You should also learn to use a substance painter. Start small and work your way up to more complex things. Do your own mods of things and don’t expect to get paid or have success. Expect to fail a bunch and learn how to do something better because you learned what NOT to do. Also, learn to take CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and change your work.

[h3]How did you resist getting burnt out over such a long development process for Xen?[/h3]
I had to treat it like a job sometimes which was difficult when it was just a free mod. When it became a commercial project, I really had to treat it like a job (even though I have a full time plus job). I worked most of my vacations to get my stuff done. Sometimes you have to just walk away from the computer for a week or 2 and then go back and keep plugging away.

[h3]If you had unlimited time, money, and help, what game would you make?[/h3]
A game similar to BF 2142 and something along the lines of X-wing series. Would love to remake wing commander in the style of the box art from the original.


Meet the Devs: Spencer Rose

Spencer Rose


[h3]Tell us a bit about yourself and your role at Crowbar Collective.[/h3]
Hey, I'm Spence! I have been working off and on with the team since 2005 when the project was in its very early days as a Half-Life 2 mod. I had a small amount of experience making maps for Half-Life and initially joined the team as a level designer. My earlier work is found in Black Mesa Inbound, Surface Tension, and On A Rail where I built level geometry and re-imagined a few puzzles and gameplay spaces. In more recent years I've worked as an artist, supporting the team for the Surface Tension Uncut and Xen updates. Now, I continue to contribute as a principal artist for experimental and upcoming projects.

Outside of Black Mesa, I've contributed to two other games built on the Source engine, and as an independent developer, I've contributed to a handful of other game-related projects and teams. If you want to know more about my work or my contributions to Black Mesa you can check out my portfolio website at commonspence.com.

Aside from games and digital art, some of my other biggest interests and hobbies are photography, model-building, and traveling. I love new foods, different languages, and meeting all types of people from all over the world!

[h3]What do you enjoy most about Black Mesa?[/h3]
Working with the team over the years has been rewarding. Everyone has an infectious enthusiasm and I’m constantly able to learn new things and grow as a developer, which is one of the best aspects.
Also, all of the feedback from players and fans is incredibly motivating! So much work on Black Mesa was borne out of genuine love for Half-Life, and it’s an honor to have contributed in some small ways.

[h3]What was the worst part of developing Black Mesa in your role?[/h3]
The pure volunteer nature of the project was a help and a hindrance at some points. In the early days, we were all working in our spare time and for the fun of it. That's not always sustainable, especially when it comes to fixing bugs, design revisions, or things that might not be as fun.

In more recent years, as an artist, it was difficult working with the Source engine while concurrently working on other projects in Unreal 4 or Unity. You become very conscious of the limitations and workflow differences between the engines and find yourself wishing for something that combines the best of all of them.

[h3]Did you go to school for your respective parts of the project?[/h3]
I've attended four different schools throughout my time working on Black Mesa - and only graduated from one of them, well after I began working on the project ;)
I never expected to go into a career doing creative things with computers, and the ways I spent my time and efforts in school reflect this.

After years of working on games and studying other things, I returned to university and graduated in 2016 with a BSc in Creative Technologies. It's only loosely related to the work I contributed to Black Mesa, but the course did better prepare me to take on other roles and think across different disciplines as an independent developer.

[h3]What would you be doing if you weren’t part of the Crowbar Collective team?[/h3]
It's anyone's guess, but most likely working on other games or content for them. If I had pursued my earlier career ambitions, then I'd probably be flying or driving some kind of vehicle - or, alternatively, building physical things instead of digital things.

[h3]Was there ever a time you were close to giving up and quitting?[/h3]
I have come and gone from the team on multiple occasions - I think anyone that works on a project over the course of ~15 years will feel like giving up or quitting at some point, especially considering the volunteer nature of the team for many years.

Leaving the team to work on other projects or develop new skills has allowed me to take on new challenges and roles on each return. While I think it's been beneficial (and necessary) from a personal perspective, I think that it's allowed me to make better contributions to the team as well.

[h3]How much does using Wallworm improve workflow in the Source engine?[/h3]
It's safe to say that the art process for Xen would have been impossible if it wasn't for these tools. The Source engine is not particularly artist-friendly as it is - before switching over to the Wallworm tools, I was using a series of batch files and scripts to compile models and materials. There were a lot of points of failure and a lot of manual effort required to create art assets - not to mention an entire scene.
While the tools don't (and can't) solve all of the workflow issues with Source, they do offer a much smoother "pipeline" to work with. What used to be a lengthy process of preparing and compiling assets can now be done in a few clicks, greatly accelerating things - and also reducing frustration for artists, an important consideration :)

Creating and compiling models is only part of the process - one of the other strengths of the tools is the ability to work directly with map geometry and create entire levels through the modeling program. In this case, we did a lot of terrain sculpting and object placement in 3dsmax, which is far easier than it would have been in Hammer editor.

We were also able to take clusters of props, merge them, and perform boolean operations to remove the parts that would be occluded by geometry or otherwise “hidden” in-game. These kinds of workflow improvements allowed us to create levels that were more detailed (and performant) than anything that we could have created with Hammer alone.

All of this allowed us to spend more time with the "fun" (or at least, more creative) parts of starting up the level, and I think that's the most important workflow improvement.

[h3]Any favorite mods for Half-Life games?[/h3]
Are all the classics (Counter-Strike, Team Fortress Classic, and Day of Defeat) still counted as "mods" these days? :)
I've played a lot of single-player mods for Half-Life...Azure Sheep, They Hunger, Point of View, Poke646 were some of my all-time favorites. I played the heck out of Natural Selection and Science and Industry, too!

[h3]If you had unlimited time, money, and help, what game would you make?[/h3]
Probably some type of simulation/construction/management game. I've always wanted to make something like Sim Tower (or more recently, Project Highrise) but in an isometric style, like The Sims. Of course, I don't have unlimited time, money, or help, but I still work on this project from time to time as a way to improve and expand my programming knowledge. There are a lot of challenges to solve when it comes to things like pathfinding and AI, and I still have a lot to learn and many prototypes to build...
More recently, I've been developing some ideas for simulation games based on the industrial revolution, or exploring the lifecycle of coal over 100 or 200 years, through periods of increasing industrialization before an extensive decline. I don't think I'm a particularly skilled designer, but it is fun to build out game ideas drawing on history or the world(s) around us.

[h3]Do you accept pineapple on pizza or are you against it?[/h3]
- Yes, I accept it. Especially if there is bacon or ham on this pizza ^^



Meet the Devs: Chon Kemp

Chon Kemp


[h3]Tell us a bit about yourself and your role at Crowbar Collective.[/h3]
My name's Chon, I'm 28 years old and I'm from London. I’m the Lead Level Designer at Crowbar Collective. I mostly make sure all the Level Designer’s (LD’s) cages are stocked with enough food and water to keep them alive and mapping!

Jokes aside, my role at Black Mesa is really split into two prongs here: the Level Designer aspect and the Lead aspect. My attention has been split roughly 50/50 between the two areas across my time in the role.

The first prong of my role is the Level Design side of things. All the LDs have contributed to our game in two overarching capacities. Firstly, each LD has their own set of maps that they realized the majority of the work on, making those maps their “babies” in a sense. My “babies” so-to-speak are Surface Tension maps G, H and I, Xen B1 (the Descent-inspired tree), the final map of Gonarch’s Lair, map A1 (Gargathon) and all 3 B maps in Interloper. Secondly, every LD has worked on every map in some meaningful way or another; be it design reworks, environment art and polish, scripting, bug fixes, feedback, etc. There wasn’t a map in all of Xen that I haven’t had some influence in or done some work on, and this is true for every LD on the project. I also played a very heavy hand in all the rebalancing and overhauls we did for the 1.0 release of Earthbound. Because of all these things together, us LDs are basically the “everymen” of the team.



The second prong of my role is the Lead side of things. In this capacity, my role is about defining specific tasks and milestones for the LDs/maps, and also making sure that every LD has what they need to get their current set of tasks done. Game development is a highly collaborative process, and Level Design is probably the most collaborative field within it. This is because we bring together everything made by all the other talented and amazing departments, while simultaneously designing the maps’ core gameplay and layouts. Thus, a lot of the time I wind up coordinating with the other department Leads (art, sound, animation, etc) or individuals within those departments, to make sure things get done properly based around what’s currently needed; simultaneously making sure that anything we do add serves our gameplay and design purposes.

Feedback and direction plays a huge role in this. Literally anyone can give feedback, but giving good, relevant, actionable feedback in a concise and easy to understand way is a significant obstacle, particularly across an online team. A major part of my role is ensuring that I give LDs good, clear feedback on their work that continues to advance the game and get it closer to being finished. I also wind up giving other departments lots of feedback too, as we work together so much. As part of that same process, it’s also my job to decide what feedback we choose to take from the community. You guys are absolutely chock full of brilliant suggestions and are constantly finding creative (or depressingly simple!) ways to completely break our game, and I serve as the LD’s way of sifting through it.



But that’s not to imply that LDs have no say in the matter! One of my great prides as the Lead LD on Black Mesa is that I think we’ve struck a perfect balance between direction/management and autonomy/freedom. Our LDs are free to alter the maps in any way that they see fit outside of the Lead’s feedback/directives as well, and we are always open to new and interesting ideas from anyone. But at the same time, I feel that I am able to provide a solid sense of direction and purpose to LDs, which helps keep the ball rolling. I’m really proud of it!



[h3]How did you get involved with Black Mesa (If you joined later on)?[/h3]
I started out among the modding community for Black Mesa all the way back in 2012, when Black Mesa itself was a mod. I ended up making 2 mods for it called Surface Tension Uncut and On a Rail Uncut, which aimed to restore map sections that the Black Mesa Team had cut out of their interpretations of those respective chapters.

At the time, I was an absolute mega-fan of Black Mesa. I must have played it all the way through AT LEAST 10 times or more, and evangelized it to ALL my friends! This stemmed from me being a huge fan of Half-Life in general and also of the Source modding community in general. My only previous experience in Level Design had been making crappy Counter-Strike maps to play with my friends, as well as some maps for another Source mod called The Hidden. Being such a huge fan of Black Mesa and having played it so much with the original for comparison, I had come to appreciate the brilliance of its Level Design and was fascinated by how they had re-interpreted this very basic old world!

I remember the idea of Surface Tension Uncut came to me one day when playing through Surface Tension in Half-Life. I got to a section that wasn’t in Black Mesa’s interpretation. It was an extremely blank and open section with no detail or real thought put into it, and it had a bounce pad going to the upper floor of this giant concrete structure. And I suddenly thought “hey, this bit would look really cool in Black Mesa as a destroyed car park”. As I continued to play through, I realized that none of these Surface Tension maps had made the cut and that their humans vs aliens scripted combat was something that Black Mesa had sorely been missing. I just couldn’t get the idea of that destroyed car park out of my head, so I just...fired up Hammer and started trying to make it.



I managed to put together the car park and some of its surrounding areas. I’ve always been very reserved (shocking for a game developer, I’m sure!), but at that moment I felt proud enough of myself to want to share what I’d done with others. So I just whacked together a thread on the Black Mesa Forums showcasing a couple of crappy Hammer screenshots of it, saying that it was part of my idea to bring back cut parts. The response was amazing and supportive! The people who replied had loads of interesting things to say, and I started to engage with the conversation, and I found myself getting totally sucked into it!

The rest is history! The community was vastly supportive and offered me so much fantastic feedback and conversation throughout development. I will always be appreciative of everything they did for me. That’s something which has continued to this day, as you guys have continued to support our entire team through thick and thin.

When I finished On a Rail Uncut towards the middle of 2013, I was approached by the Black Mesa team and asked to hop on board to help develop some maps for an upcoming multiplayer component. How could I ever have turned that down?! For a fanboy such as myself, there was no greater honor, and I remember feeling at the time as if they must have overlooked hundreds of far more talented Level Designers in favor of me, something which humbled me and made me strive to do the best I possibly could. After I joined the team, I was told that Black Mesa was actually now going to be sold as a retail product and that the team had some big plans in store. It was all just...so surreal and incredible. I don’t know where I got my immense luck from, but I’m thankful for it all!



I became the Lead Level Designer towards the end of 2018, in the thick of our insanely challenging Xen development. I helped see Xen through to the end, through what was a very tough time for the team. It remains (and likely always will) the single proudest achievement of my entire life. It’s not perfect, but it’s ours. And it’s wonderful.

[h3]Did you go to school for your respective parts of the project?[/h3]
I learned how to do Level Design by simply opening Hammer one day at the age of 15 and trying to make a map of my house for Counter-Strike: Source (which I was borderline addicted to at the time). As I hit obstacles that I couldn’t figure out myself, I consulted internet tutorials for my specific problems, often in the form of random YouTube videos or forum threads on Source modding forums. I thoroughly enjoyed the process of making the map, so I just kept trying to make better and better maps, and that was how I got into Level Design for real eventually, modding for Black Mesa.

Game design (like most forms of art) has so many different ways that you can approach it from a learning perspective. It really does come down entirely to who you are as a person and how best you learn. For me, “learning by doing” was the most effective approach, and is one I would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who is capable of learning in this manner. I loved being able to take things at my own pace, not having to listen to long-winded explanations of basic things that I was able to puzzle out just by mucking around in the editor. I made my own mistakes and took my own lessons from them, forcing myself to stay honest along the way. Sometimes they might have been the wrong lessons, but that’s how life works sometimes!

There were some downsides to this approach, however. In the past, I mostly mapped by “feel” and by the seat of my pants, and I think it showed in a lot of my early work. Across my time in development, I learned to think a lot more like a proper designer: puzzling and planning things out better and with the bigger gameplay picture in mind. Being able to hone in better on the player direction and encounter design, knowing what works and doesn’t work. I think if I’d gone to a school to learn about the process of Level Design, I might have been able to get a head start on learning some of these basic principles a lot sooner. There’s an absolute ton of merit to learning Game Design in a school too, but that wasn’t the way that worked best for me, and I’m glad I took the route I did!

[h3]What software did you use for your work?[/h3]
I almost exclusively use Hammer, which is typical for the Source engine, as it’s the only Level Design tool. As such, it is also pretty much the final vanguard of the old-school Level Design tools. It’s a vastly different workflow and toolset to what any modern game uses, such as those on the Unreal Engine or Unity. Hammer is heavily designer-driven compared to more modern workflows, which I would say are often more artist-driven now.



In an attempt to bridge the gap between the Absolutely Ancient Software™ and modern tools, most of the LDs (myself included) dabbled in a bit of 3DS Max and Wallworm. Wallworm is an amazing tool developed by our resident superstar Shawn Olson that allows 3DS Max to read and write to Hammer’s VMF format, among a million other amazing things. This allows us to use 3DS Max for Level Design and Environment Art, giving us the benefits of many different kinds of modern workflow despite our ancient engine.

Truth be told, I didn’t use Wallworm anything like as much as I should have. I mostly used it to import and subdivide displacements (the natural-looking geometry from which outdoor environments are built-in Source). It would take 18+ hours to run the subdivision process for an entire map in Hammer, but ~30 seconds in 3DS Max! The subdivision process was something we often had to re-run any time we made some kind of meaningful layout change, so this saved us vast amounts of time across the whole of development. I’m not exaggerating when I say we would not have finished Xen without this tool. Our artists made far, far greater use of it than the LDs did, too!



As a Lead, I also made pretty extensive use of Google Docs and Paint 3D to provide feedback and art/design direction to the Level Designers and other departments too. My drawing skills are absolutely horrendous, but luckily, I’ve always been able to make do with very ugly scribbles over screenshots, coupled with a lot of text. As this Q+A has probably already shown, I’m no stranger to writing a lot!

[h3]What do you enjoy the most about Black Mesa?[/h3]
Please allow me to gush for a minute here. I think Black Mesa is the most fascinating and interesting remake of any video game ever, period. I felt this before I had even joined the team myself!

There aren’t many remakes that have the balls to drastically change things from the original and put their own spin on it. That’s because, typically, that’s not really what remakes are meant to do, and not why fans would play them. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all, either! But, Black Mesa is so unique because it is a fan reinterpretation of an absolutely beloved classic; one of the greatest shooters of all time, one which changed the genre forever. It would have been so much easier to play it safe(r) and just stick with a graphical remastering. Instead, it became its own beast, with its own identity and strengths and weaknesses, but still the distinct flavor of the original.

Sometimes we go quite close to the original. Sometimes we go completely wild and do something totally different (case in point: Xen). Sometimes it works, and perhaps sometimes it doesn’t. Everyone’s going to have a different opinion on that particular aspect! And that’s what’s so fun about it. I think anyone who plays our game has a list of things they preferred in our game over the original, and a list of things they preferred from the original. That facilitates some really interesting discussion. We don’t really aim to replace the original or “one-up” it. I view us as a companion piece to the original. They elevate each other. And that’s really awesome, in my view.



And the best part is, regardless of what you liked or didn’t like, there’s really no denying that this game is the truly ultimate fan labor of love. The team worked for free on this for more than 8 years before the prospect of money even became a discussion. It was never even on the cards until Valve approached us. Then, when the product actually did go retail, we poured our hearts and souls into making Xen this epic, huge experience; attempting to build an awesome, original piece of new Half-Life content. A real swan song to the Half-Life universe. At the time, we were not aware that Valve was going to make Half-Life: Alyx. We were trying to use Xen to honor that universe in our own special way.

On top of that, we even went back and revisited numerous parts of Earthbound, making continuous tweaks and bugfixes, ending up with a version of the game which is vastly improved over the mod version in so many ways that I think fans weren’t really expecting or even asking for. In an alternate world, we probably could have just made our own version of Xen relatively close to the original, released the mod version as-is coupled with Xen as the retail product on Steam, and still have been fine overall. But we didn’t do that. We chose the harder path. We worked on the game for 7 years after we had gone Early Access. And it was because we loved our game and we loved the Half-Life universe and wanted to do something special with this amazing opportunity we were given.

All games have had blood, sweat and tears poured into them by a developer team who loves what they’re doing. That isn’t something unique to Black Mesa, really. But I do think that Black Mesa is a particularly special and beautiful example of that!

[h3]How did you resist getting burnt out over such a long development process for Xen?[/h3]
When a project has gone on this long and been this challenging, burnout is really just an inevitability. We have all been through it, a lot. That is doubly true for those of us on the team who work full-time jobs in addition to Black Mesa, such as myself. Throughout the majority of Xen development, my daily routine on the team was to work 9 - 5 at my full-time job, and then come home and work on Black Mesa until ~1am, then repeat across the week, often with one day on the weekend thrown in too. I worked like this for literally years. It was even tougher during the crunch periods (leading up to releases), where I’d normally work the whole weekend too. It was really tough!

I think there’s one key factor that kept everyone on the team going despite these kinds of schedules. We have always loved what we are doing and believed in our game and believed in us as a team. I think anyone on the team will tell you the same thing. We are all driven by passion. That’s why Black Mesa even existed in the first place. Passion, and determination. It’s helped pull us out of some of those dark tunnels when the going has gotten tough. Which it has done on many occasions!

When even that passion wasn’t enough, my solution was usually to just take some time off until I felt I had the creative juices flowing well enough again to come back to it. This typically would happen when someone on the team shared something cool or asked for input, or a new task emerged that needed some help, which was never that far around the corner. Working on some of those new things would help ease me back into the flow again, and would help me overcome whatever I might have been stuck on.

The other massive thing which has always helped was the incredible support and response from the community. There have always been naysayers and mean/negative voices out there (and I have read them more than most on the team!), but they are mostly drowned out by those who have loved what we’ve done, and believed in us and our game. We can’t thank them enough.

[h3]How often do you watch youtube videos/Twitch streams of Black Mesa?[/h3]
All the time! Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s a beautiful experience. But it’s always necessary and important for us to learn as designers!

Often a player will get hopelessly stuck on a section of the game, and then I’ll watch them go down the wrong path, press use repeatedly on everything in sight except the thing they can actually use, completely miss the answer that’s right in front of them, and just entirely not understand something that we poured loads and loads of effort into carefully designing and refining. Without meaning to, sometimes I’ll even feel annoyed about it as I watch! But I always end up reminding myself: we made this game for the players. Half-Life style design is unique in that almost every single element of the gameplay is exclusively communicated through the environment. If a player struggles with something, that’s almost always on us. Room to improve!

On the flip side, there are also many times where I’m watching streams or videos of our game and a moment or section of the map just lands perfectly. The stars will line up, and a scene will unfold exactly as we designed it, to the letter. Or the player will give off a wonderful reaction of excitement or enjoyment, or just stop to marvel at the visuals, or will comment on something we spent ages working on; even really small obscure details. It’s seeing those moments play out for others and provide them with enjoyment/a good experience that makes me feel proud to be a game designer, and proud to have worked on this project. Ultimately, we just want others to have a fun and memorable experience!



It’s that mixed bag that makes this art! It is really valuable to have the ability to see which things worked and didn’t work for players, across such a wide spectrum of people. And this is only a relatively recent tool that has become available to us, I would say even within the last 10 years. So it’s a tool that we appreciate and use across the whole team. On the team, we are often sharing playthroughs and streams of our game, and discussing them among ourselves. Why someone got stuck here, what didn’t work here and why, and what we can do about it in a future update. This was particularly valuable for us during the early betas throughout Xen’s development. It helped make us better and helped us make a better game.

[h3]If you had unlimited time, money, and help, what game would you make?[/h3]
You know those escape rooms where you have to solve puzzles to get out of a room you’re trapped in, before the timer expires? I’d make one of those, but with the entire Black Mesa Research Facility. I’d pay thousands of skilled actors to portray the entire resonance cascade, and we’d build an entire Black Mesa experience in real life. The facility is just so bloody cool and Gordon’s journey across it is honestly my favorite of any video game ever. I’d love to just walk the length of it. We probably couldn’t do Xen, though, unfortunately...

Funny story that’s sort of tangentially related to this. Back when I first started working on Black Mesa, I needed to set up a business bank account so I could keep the money separate from my other income sources. I, therefore, had to do an interview with a business representative at the bank. She was really nice to me, but she seemed to know very little about computers in general and even less about video games. I really struggled to explain to her what Level Design was, as I couldn’t even get her to understand what 3D assets were! She interpreted my explanation (which I’m sure probably wasn’t very good!) to mean that I actually built locations from video games out into the real world. I showed her a picture of dm_gasworks, and she asked me how long it took to build that in real life! I’m sure it was no fault of hers, but that misinterpretation always stuck with me as being really funny! And thus, that was what inspired my stupid idea above.



[h3]What would you be doing if you weren’t part of the Crowbar Collective team?[/h3]
Crying myself to sleep every night over how hollow and meaningless my life really is.

Actually, I guess it would be the same!