1. Chair F*cking Simulator
  2. News

Chair F*cking Simulator News

C̴H̴A̴I̴R̴F̴*̴C̴K̴E̴R̴ ̴H̴A̴L̴L̴O̴W̴E̴E̴N̴ ̴U̴P̴D̴A̴T̴E̴ 🎃🪑


🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃👻🪑🎃
In time for ℍ𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔼ℕ comes our newest u̷p̴d̵a̴t̸e̴, featuring new content and bugfixes.

- Halloween theme added ! (Aᴠᴀɪʟᴀʙʟᴇ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ Nᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 5ᴛʜ)
- New chairs added !!
- One of the chairs is now possibly cursed !!! ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ғɪɴᴅ ɪᴛ?
- Tweaked some chairs that were very similar looking to be more unique !!!!
- I̷͍̤̻̲͓͛͗̏t̷͎̮̺̝̤̐̏ ̵̰̘̱̮̣̏ͅs̵͍̪͕̏̉̓͝ḙ̷̊̿́̇͝é̴̢̧̫̻̹s̵͉͋̑͛͂ ̴̡̨̠̻̺̞̀e̵̢̢͕̩͆ͅv̵̮̅͆è̸̹̝͇̠͉̽͐̐r̶̮̳̭̘̤̹̿͆̑̆̍̈́y̸̧̦͎͖̫̏́͌͆ṱ̶͎̖̎́h̶̰̣̟͔͎̑́͊ì̴̫̞̂̃̂̇ṅ̷͈͉ģ̴̪̅̓̓͑̈́


Follow us on Twitter

ℂℍ𝔸𝕀ℝ 𝔽*ℂ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕊𝕀𝕄𝕌𝕃𝔸𝕋𝕆ℝ 1.2 SWOLLEN CONTENT UPDATE

T̴h̴e̴ ̴C̴h̴a̴i̴r̴ ̴F̴*̴c̴k̴i̴n̴g̴ ̴S̴i̴m̴u̴l̴a̴t̴o̴r̴ ̴1̴.̴2̴ ̴C̴o̴n̴t̴e̴n̴t̴ ̴U̴p̴d̴a̴t̴e̴ ̴A̴p̴p̴e̴a̴r̴s̴

Has the gloss worn off of your trash can? Tired of buffing out the stains on your upholstery with your center of gravity? Time to take the wet ham out of the fridge and dust off the old thunderclothes, because some new chairs are here to roost!

The 12th moon of the 12th ring of the 12th planet is aligned.
The silky smooth sine wave flies away from the wine glass, a shining, ringing noise. It screams about sitting and f*cking the places where people sit.




This update doubles the amount of chairs in the roster. Wheelchairs! Antiques! Luxury! Royalty! I͛͛͛m͛͛͛p͛͛͛o͛͛͛s͛͛͛t͛͛͛e͛͛͛r͛͛͛s͛͛͛.
So slam some extreme health sauce and jump IN the game, because the office surplus store is POPPIN.



Be wary if your chair has teeth or writhes with pink flesh and the many whisperings they can bring.

[h2]A list:[/h2]
  • Did we mention a hell-a-ton more chairs?
  • Three new cursed achievements added
  • Fixed clown chair no long honking sometimes
  • Added a terrifying amount of new profile generating data
  • Graphics settings are no longer set to Toilet by default
  • New finish camera angle
  • New cheat code added 👩🏽‍⚖️
  • If you're still reading this, here's a cheat treat:
    next time you're slapping some seats, type in D-E-R-P


Have fun and don't forget to lock the basement!

Yell at ChairF*cker on Steam Yell at ChairF*cker on Twitter

Minor Content Update + Fixes

[h2]What’s that, you say? [/h2]
You found yourself taken aback by sedentary allure & pleasure?
A minor but curvy update has appeared to improve your simulation satisfaction.

* A new chair and 2 new variations have hatched from their eggs and now appear in the regular lineup as a teaser for now.
* Fixed some animations with wooden chairs
* New terrible & wonderous text strings added to the profiler
* Fixed a cheat code
* Other minor fixey junk

More chairs have caught word and are making their way for the future.
Aye! Your stairwells will overlfow with joy. Stop, drop, and update Chair F*cking Simulator so you can get new content.

CHAIRF*CKER IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR Y̶OUR̶ CURS̷E̷D STEAM LIBRARY

[h3]Dust off the f*ck bin, because in these uncertain times you're going to need every last scrap in there.[/h3]
Put aside your differences with every chair, because they all need to GIDDIT.
Don't forget to charge your phone, and put a clean sock on each toe.

[h3]Most importantly[/h3]
If our chair match-making service improved or ruined your life, please let us know in the Steam review cube.

ChairF*cking Simulator Launches ŦØMØɌɌØW

[h3]Launch❤️day🧡is💛tomorrow.💚It💙crawls💜ever❤️closer,🧡like💛a💚sock💙full💜of❤️filth🧡hamsters.[/h3]