Critter Cove Dev Log #2
[h3]Alright, listen up, you unfortunate lot!
I’m Pokee, chief something here on Critter Cove. I’ve been living here a while and well, I don’t exactly get along with these other Critters. But, today's my turn to take over the “Critter Cove tourism board” and tell you guys about what’s been going on around here. Lucky me, huh? Anchor thought it'd be entertaining to throw me into this mess or hand me the tourism office keys, as if I had nothing better to do.
Anyway, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this. I guess I'll give you real-deal hot-off-the-press information about what a visit here’s really gonna be like, not like you'll appreciate it.
So, you're the new Critter that got scammed into fixing this dump with Anchor. Renard filled me in on your little “sob story”. Must've been a real easy mark, huh? Can't help but chuckle a little at your gullibility.[/h3]
[h2]Why do we need the town renovated?[/h2]
[h3]Critter Cove's been a disaster lately, so it's up to you to step up your game.
This guy “Inspector Checkmark” shows up now and then to judge this place for some weird “committee." Let’s just say we’ve been getting even worse grades than you probably did at school!
To impress this Checkmark dude, we need to improve in these three categories: presence, vigor and life satisfaction. And when I say we, I really mean, you. You don’t LOOK like some with a lot of life satisfaction, but we’ll see how it goes.
If you want my advice - get those old shops up and running first. And yeah, we need more Critters, so when the next storm hits, go rescue some people stupid enough to go out and explore. If they don't want rescuing, prepare to grease their palms. And obviously, we can’t have them mop around town all miserable![/h3]
[h2]As for the townsfolk's happiness...[/h2]
[h3]It varies, you dimwit. Personally, I prefer everyone staying far away from me. Others ain’t gonna be afraid to talk about what they need - clothes, furniture, decorations, food, you name it. Plus, you gotta keep the shops in shape. Fix leaks, clean floors, probably unclog toilets; it's all nasty. And if you refuse, don't expect the shopkeepers to lift a finger. The place will rot away, or at least, you’re not going to get any new stuff.
Oh, and if you wanna be a real hero, beautify the town with some decorations. Lamps, benches, whatever makes these slackers happy. I bet some of those sucks may even be inspired to help you. Not me though, obviously, I’ve got better things to do than follow around some mad newcomer with a bench fetish!
And when you get tired of that, well you might have heard mention of a free house here in town, but it’s more like a shed. You’re gonna want to fix it up. Decorate it, change the floors, paint the walls… Judging by the way you’re dressed I know I’m going to have fun watching you trying to work out interior design.[/h3]
This went just about as well as I thought it would. TERRIBLE.
[h3]Look, I’ve got more truth bombs to drop firmly onto your lap, ok, but I’ve also got places to be, people to avoid. I’ll come back next week if Anchor hasn’t locked me out and hit you with some more advice. Peace out. Or don’t.[/h3]
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I’m Pokee, chief something here on Critter Cove. I’ve been living here a while and well, I don’t exactly get along with these other Critters. But, today's my turn to take over the “Critter Cove tourism board” and tell you guys about what’s been going on around here. Lucky me, huh? Anchor thought it'd be entertaining to throw me into this mess or hand me the tourism office keys, as if I had nothing better to do.
Anyway, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this. I guess I'll give you real-deal hot-off-the-press information about what a visit here’s really gonna be like, not like you'll appreciate it.
So, you're the new Critter that got scammed into fixing this dump with Anchor. Renard filled me in on your little “sob story”. Must've been a real easy mark, huh? Can't help but chuckle a little at your gullibility.[/h3]
[h2]Why do we need the town renovated?[/h2]
[h3]Critter Cove's been a disaster lately, so it's up to you to step up your game.
This guy “Inspector Checkmark” shows up now and then to judge this place for some weird “committee." Let’s just say we’ve been getting even worse grades than you probably did at school!
To impress this Checkmark dude, we need to improve in these three categories: presence, vigor and life satisfaction. And when I say we, I really mean, you. You don’t LOOK like some with a lot of life satisfaction, but we’ll see how it goes.
If you want my advice - get those old shops up and running first. And yeah, we need more Critters, so when the next storm hits, go rescue some people stupid enough to go out and explore. If they don't want rescuing, prepare to grease their palms. And obviously, we can’t have them mop around town all miserable![/h3]
[h2]As for the townsfolk's happiness...[/h2]
[h3]It varies, you dimwit. Personally, I prefer everyone staying far away from me. Others ain’t gonna be afraid to talk about what they need - clothes, furniture, decorations, food, you name it. Plus, you gotta keep the shops in shape. Fix leaks, clean floors, probably unclog toilets; it's all nasty. And if you refuse, don't expect the shopkeepers to lift a finger. The place will rot away, or at least, you’re not going to get any new stuff.
Oh, and if you wanna be a real hero, beautify the town with some decorations. Lamps, benches, whatever makes these slackers happy. I bet some of those sucks may even be inspired to help you. Not me though, obviously, I’ve got better things to do than follow around some mad newcomer with a bench fetish!
And when you get tired of that, well you might have heard mention of a free house here in town, but it’s more like a shed. You’re gonna want to fix it up. Decorate it, change the floors, paint the walls… Judging by the way you’re dressed I know I’m going to have fun watching you trying to work out interior design.[/h3]
This went just about as well as I thought it would. TERRIBLE.[h3]Look, I’ve got more truth bombs to drop firmly onto your lap, ok, but I’ve also got places to be, people to avoid. I’ll come back next week if Anchor hasn’t locked me out and hit you with some more advice. Peace out. Or don’t.[/h3]
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