A Halloween Interview with Pinky☆!
We met Pinky☆ for an interview on our recent visit to Promise Mascot Agency, a mascot-for-hire agency ran out of what is seemingly an old and decrepit love hotel. Don’t let looks deceive you however, Pinky☆’s here and she means business! She may be in the gutter but she’s reaching for the stars!
We chatted to Pinky over a cup of tea, once she’d finished smashing all of the dirty cups in the small kitchenette and swearing about her good for nothing janitor. We didn’t drink our tea.
Interviewer:
I’ve never conducted an interview on a spinning bed before, this is a new experience! I wonder if you’d like to introduce yourself and your company?
Pinky☆:
I find rotating beds help clear the mind. There’s nothing like imagining the awful things that have been done on it to make you thankful for the life you’re leading.
Anyway, I’m Pinky☆! I’m the assistant manager of the Promise Mascot Agency. The manager can’t speak to the press because he’s dead. Kind of. Don’t worry about him.
Interviewer:
So we hear that you were once one of the biggest mascots in this town, arguably even in Fukuoka. What caused you to shun the spotlight and want to go behind the scenes?
Pinky☆:
I didn’t want to go behind the scenes, the goddamn mayor forced me to! That crusty old geezer got all pissy when I didn’t perform well at his granddaughter’s birthday party. The mascot business was going poorly due to factors OUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL, and I was the only mascot left. So I had to do the event for His Majesty. I’m not a people person. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said. A knife was brandished when it shouldn’t have been.
Unregardlessly, we’re back in business, and I’m going to suffocate the life out of the mayor, if it's the last thing I do.
Interviewer:
How do you feel about Kaso-Machi? What are the local specialities and why should people come to visit?
Pinky☆:
Kaso-Machi is wonderful, if you like dying towns and curses! We don’t have a lot here, but we do have mountain nightmare spirits, a really handsome mechanic, my grandma’s coffee shop AND an S&M dungeon!
Interviewer:
If this is an abandoned, haunted town, why do you think your business will be successful here? Surely a town with no tourism doesn’t have a great need for mascots?
Pinky☆:
Well, for a start, we don’t have a lot of choice. For reasons I am not at liberty to discuss, if we don’t make this place a success, some people are going to die. To that end, me and the boss are working to rejuvenate this town ourselves. The crusty old mayor hasn’t been spending the government money to revive the town, so we’re pouring what little we have back into the town.
The boss is all about helping people achieve their dreams, even if it is a total pain in the ass, so we’re helping them rebuild their businesses. We’re doing it out of the goodness of our hearts AND to get a cut of the profits when the tourists come. Create the world you want to live in. Or something.
Interviewer:
Are you doing anything special for Halloween?
Pinky☆:
Buddy, it’s always Halloween in this town.
We’ve got bat mascots, an eel mascot with his stomach split open, a mascot that might be a ghost, and two mascot brothers that think they’re gods. Not to mention the weird cult that meets in a cave, and the door to another dimension in the hills. Oh yeah, there’s the ghost at the train station as well. If you like the occult, we’ve got you covered.
Interviewer:
In a world full of colourful and cute mascots, what do you think is the biggest charm of the mascots at Promise Mascot Agency?
[Might be good to mention here how they are all misfits but they recruit mascots being themselves so clients get something fresh]
Pinky☆:
All of our mascots are misfits. We’re not like those lame mainstream mascots. All of our mascots have a unique charm. It might be tempting to call it a freakshow, but that goes against our HR policies, so let’s just say that we provide mascots for events that you won’t find anywhere else.
Interviewer:
What makes Promise Mascot Agency unique, and what can you offer customers that other mascot agencies can’t?
Pinky☆:
Well, we’re desperate so we’re relatively cheap. And degenerates online loves seeing weirdos fail, and we can provide that by the bucket load.
“PINKY☆!”
Sorry, that was the boss. He’s really uptight about me speaking to the press. We’ll have to blur him out of the photo.
Interviewer:
What are the goals for Promise Mascot Agency and its mascots?
Pinky☆:
TO MAKE HELL OF MONEY AND NOT DIE!
That’s number 1. Number 2 is to crush all other mascot agencies under our boot. In doing so, we will help all of our mascots achieve their dreams. So long as their dreams aren’t too time consuming.
Listen, I was abandoned by my dad, the mayor ruined my business, and lots of people think I’m a joke. The boss needs to atone for a mistake and save his family or whatever, but let me tell you something, if it helps make this agency a success, I will do something worth atoning for. You feel me?
Interviewer:
What do you like and hate about your job?
Pinky☆:
I like not having to run a love hotel anymore. People make me sick. I also like being driven around by the boss so we can meet all my friends. Hey, you ever been to Bar Itai? Mama-san’s good people. I’m also having a lot of fun antagonising the mayor. I think we’re pretty close to giving him a heart attack.
I hate how poor the people in this town are. Like, why do we have to work so goddarn hard to get paid? I’m in the prime of my life, I shouldn’t be busting my hump so much with this.
Interviewer:
What do you like to do on your time off?
Pinky☆:
Before reopening the agency, me and Shiori, one of our employees, used to enjoy doing shakedowns on the pervs visiting the love hotel. Nowadays, I don’t get a lot of time off. Making dreams come true doesn’t leave me with a lot of downtime. I’m forced to selflessly devote myself to other people.
Interviewer:
Anything else you’d like to add?
Pinky☆:
Please come to Kaso-Machi, open a business, and hire our mascots for all of your promotional events! If you don’t, I want to know what your goddamn problem is.
[A voice from another room shouts] “PINKY☆!”
Anonymous sign-off comment from the mysterious owner:
Thank you for your support. We endeavour to provide mascots that entertain and delight. We’re looking forward to doing business with you.
Thank you, Pinky☆ and the mysterious owner!
we’re looking forward to doing business with you too.
“Be the boss. Turn a profit. Recruit and manage a chaotic roster of magnificent Mascots”
Promise Mascot Agency is due for release in 2025! Available to wishlist now!
We chatted to Pinky over a cup of tea, once she’d finished smashing all of the dirty cups in the small kitchenette and swearing about her good for nothing janitor. We didn’t drink our tea.
Interviewer:
I’ve never conducted an interview on a spinning bed before, this is a new experience! I wonder if you’d like to introduce yourself and your company?
Pinky☆:
I find rotating beds help clear the mind. There’s nothing like imagining the awful things that have been done on it to make you thankful for the life you’re leading.
Anyway, I’m Pinky☆! I’m the assistant manager of the Promise Mascot Agency. The manager can’t speak to the press because he’s dead. Kind of. Don’t worry about him.
Interviewer:
So we hear that you were once one of the biggest mascots in this town, arguably even in Fukuoka. What caused you to shun the spotlight and want to go behind the scenes?
Pinky☆:
I didn’t want to go behind the scenes, the goddamn mayor forced me to! That crusty old geezer got all pissy when I didn’t perform well at his granddaughter’s birthday party. The mascot business was going poorly due to factors OUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL, and I was the only mascot left. So I had to do the event for His Majesty. I’m not a people person. Things were said that shouldn’t have been said. A knife was brandished when it shouldn’t have been.
Unregardlessly, we’re back in business, and I’m going to suffocate the life out of the mayor, if it's the last thing I do.
Interviewer:
How do you feel about Kaso-Machi? What are the local specialities and why should people come to visit?
Pinky☆:
Kaso-Machi is wonderful, if you like dying towns and curses! We don’t have a lot here, but we do have mountain nightmare spirits, a really handsome mechanic, my grandma’s coffee shop AND an S&M dungeon!
Interviewer:
If this is an abandoned, haunted town, why do you think your business will be successful here? Surely a town with no tourism doesn’t have a great need for mascots?
Pinky☆:
Well, for a start, we don’t have a lot of choice. For reasons I am not at liberty to discuss, if we don’t make this place a success, some people are going to die. To that end, me and the boss are working to rejuvenate this town ourselves. The crusty old mayor hasn’t been spending the government money to revive the town, so we’re pouring what little we have back into the town.
The boss is all about helping people achieve their dreams, even if it is a total pain in the ass, so we’re helping them rebuild their businesses. We’re doing it out of the goodness of our hearts AND to get a cut of the profits when the tourists come. Create the world you want to live in. Or something.
Interviewer:
Are you doing anything special for Halloween?
Pinky☆:
Buddy, it’s always Halloween in this town.
We’ve got bat mascots, an eel mascot with his stomach split open, a mascot that might be a ghost, and two mascot brothers that think they’re gods. Not to mention the weird cult that meets in a cave, and the door to another dimension in the hills. Oh yeah, there’s the ghost at the train station as well. If you like the occult, we’ve got you covered.
Interviewer:
In a world full of colourful and cute mascots, what do you think is the biggest charm of the mascots at Promise Mascot Agency?
[Might be good to mention here how they are all misfits but they recruit mascots being themselves so clients get something fresh]
Pinky☆:
All of our mascots are misfits. We’re not like those lame mainstream mascots. All of our mascots have a unique charm. It might be tempting to call it a freakshow, but that goes against our HR policies, so let’s just say that we provide mascots for events that you won’t find anywhere else.
Interviewer:
What makes Promise Mascot Agency unique, and what can you offer customers that other mascot agencies can’t?
Pinky☆:
Well, we’re desperate so we’re relatively cheap. And degenerates online loves seeing weirdos fail, and we can provide that by the bucket load.
“PINKY☆!”
Sorry, that was the boss. He’s really uptight about me speaking to the press. We’ll have to blur him out of the photo.
Interviewer:
What are the goals for Promise Mascot Agency and its mascots?
Pinky☆:
TO MAKE HELL OF MONEY AND NOT DIE!
That’s number 1. Number 2 is to crush all other mascot agencies under our boot. In doing so, we will help all of our mascots achieve their dreams. So long as their dreams aren’t too time consuming.
Listen, I was abandoned by my dad, the mayor ruined my business, and lots of people think I’m a joke. The boss needs to atone for a mistake and save his family or whatever, but let me tell you something, if it helps make this agency a success, I will do something worth atoning for. You feel me?
Interviewer:
What do you like and hate about your job?
Pinky☆:
I like not having to run a love hotel anymore. People make me sick. I also like being driven around by the boss so we can meet all my friends. Hey, you ever been to Bar Itai? Mama-san’s good people. I’m also having a lot of fun antagonising the mayor. I think we’re pretty close to giving him a heart attack.
I hate how poor the people in this town are. Like, why do we have to work so goddarn hard to get paid? I’m in the prime of my life, I shouldn’t be busting my hump so much with this.
Interviewer:
What do you like to do on your time off?
Pinky☆:
Before reopening the agency, me and Shiori, one of our employees, used to enjoy doing shakedowns on the pervs visiting the love hotel. Nowadays, I don’t get a lot of time off. Making dreams come true doesn’t leave me with a lot of downtime. I’m forced to selflessly devote myself to other people.
Interviewer:
Anything else you’d like to add?
Pinky☆:
Please come to Kaso-Machi, open a business, and hire our mascots for all of your promotional events! If you don’t, I want to know what your goddamn problem is.
[A voice from another room shouts] “PINKY☆!”
Anonymous sign-off comment from the mysterious owner:
Thank you for your support. We endeavour to provide mascots that entertain and delight. We’re looking forward to doing business with you.
Thank you, Pinky☆ and the mysterious owner!
we’re looking forward to doing business with you too.
“Be the boss. Turn a profit. Recruit and manage a chaotic roster of magnificent Mascots”
Promise Mascot Agency is due for release in 2025! Available to wishlist now!