Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2 cannot possibly be on sale now

Mere moments before release, Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2 has been delayed by the occult implosion of developers The Chinese Room, seemingly triggered by a last-ditch request from Paradox Interactive to add a microtransaction system and start charging for every bitten neck.

There is nothing left of The Chinese Room now. Nothing but a huge bubble of Cromwell invocations and bisexual lighting, right in the middle of Portsmouth. Occasionally, a level designer erupts from the congealing iridescent surface, begging to be allowed to make Dear Esther 2 instead, only to be dragged back into the orb by a thousand, vermillion-painted fingers.