'Twas the Night Before Squirmuss... next week... but the sale starts now!
Squirmish is on sale just in time for Squirmuss! Yes, Squirmish currently costs only $2.44 (65% off)! That is less than the cost of a peppermint-gingerbread-reindeer latte!
Get Squirmish now and you'll be ready for Squirmuss Day... that special day that comes once a year when St. Thick bestows so much glorious extra damage in the game, it will be plum-figgy-pudding nuts. Just check out his special ability!
Here is some seasonal poesy to celebrate...
THE NIGHT BEFORE SQUIRMUSS
'Twas the night before Squirmuss, when all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse;
Stinky socks were hung by the toilet with care,
In fears that St. Thick would soon emerge from there;
The creatures were gnarled all caged up like felons,
While omens of salty wounds pounded their melons,
When down in the bathroom there arose such a fuss,
I knew it could only be that ornery cuss.
As I went to the head, and was turning around,
Up out of the toilet came St. Thick with a bound:
He was dress'd all in plastic, from his head to his boot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with unspeakable toot;
A sack full of cards was flung on his rear,
And his voice sounded like a high-pitched Bronx cheer:
His eyes?—? how they glazed! His dimples: how scary,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose aviary;
His droll little mouth was stretched out in a fright,
And the drool on his chin gleamed into the the night;
A stump of lead pipe he held tight in his paw,
Painted with stripes so it looked like a straw.
He had an ugly face, and a big round booty,
That shook when he screech'd, like a bowl full of cooties;
He was smelly and plump, a right scary old freak,
And I scream'd when I saw him, too scared to speak;
A wink of his eye and a shake of his buns
Soon gave me to know I had nowhere to run.
He spoke not a word as he jiggled his butt,
And fill'd all the stockings with I don't want to know what,
Laying his finger on each side of his tush
And giving a nod, down the toilet he flushed.
As he spun down into the septic undertow,
cards with his image 'round the room he did throw:
And I heard him exclaim, ere he flushed out of sight?—?
"Hairy Squirmuss to all, and to all a good fright!"
Get Squirmish now and you'll be ready for Squirmuss Day... that special day that comes once a year when St. Thick bestows so much glorious extra damage in the game, it will be plum-figgy-pudding nuts. Just check out his special ability!
Here is some seasonal poesy to celebrate...
THE NIGHT BEFORE SQUIRMUSS
'Twas the night before Squirmuss, when all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse;
Stinky socks were hung by the toilet with care,
In fears that St. Thick would soon emerge from there;
The creatures were gnarled all caged up like felons,
While omens of salty wounds pounded their melons,
When down in the bathroom there arose such a fuss,
I knew it could only be that ornery cuss.
As I went to the head, and was turning around,
Up out of the toilet came St. Thick with a bound:
He was dress'd all in plastic, from his head to his boot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with unspeakable toot;
A sack full of cards was flung on his rear,
And his voice sounded like a high-pitched Bronx cheer:
His eyes?—? how they glazed! His dimples: how scary,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose aviary;
His droll little mouth was stretched out in a fright,
And the drool on his chin gleamed into the the night;
A stump of lead pipe he held tight in his paw,
Painted with stripes so it looked like a straw.
He had an ugly face, and a big round booty,
That shook when he screech'd, like a bowl full of cooties;
He was smelly and plump, a right scary old freak,
And I scream'd when I saw him, too scared to speak;
A wink of his eye and a shake of his buns
Soon gave me to know I had nowhere to run.
He spoke not a word as he jiggled his butt,
And fill'd all the stockings with I don't want to know what,
Laying his finger on each side of his tush
And giving a nod, down the toilet he flushed.
As he spun down into the septic undertow,
cards with his image 'round the room he did throw:
And I heard him exclaim, ere he flushed out of sight?—?
"Hairy Squirmuss to all, and to all a good fright!"