Steven the Sperm News

HEY YOU! Are you tired of your limp, flaccid life? Do you want to get some action? Are you tired of feeling small and infertile? Well worry no longer!

STEVEN THE SPERM is here to excite! But, how could you EVER POSSIBLY afford it's STEEP $2 PRICE TAG?????????? I mean, that hooker took all your money, wtf are you gonna do?

FEAR NOT FRIEND - FOR THE SPECIAL YEAR OF 2020 - FEAST THINE EYES UPON A SALE FOR THE AGES...

75% OFF!!! STEVEN THE SPERM IS ONLY 50¢ FROM
DECEMBER 28TH 2019 (10:00 AM) TO JANUARY 5TH 2020 (10:00 AM)!!!!!

Experience the dramatic, and beautiful story! Squirm your way through eight fantastic labyrinths of deadly spermicide as you make your way to the egg! Meet enemies and maybe even make a friend along the way! Rack up points for a high score, or speed your way through the stages to perfect your world-record speedrun! Unlock sick aesthetic cosmetics, wicked chill title screens, and even a fantastical new mode...

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STS is a charming masterpiece created as a labor of love. Me and my friends here at Perfect Acorn have put countless hours into testing the game and polishing it to be an experience worthy of your time. We're always up for suggestions and conversations - feel free to join us in this wonderful, confounding experience simply known as "Steven the Sperm".

this sale was originally supposed to be "20¢ for 2020" but the suits over at Steam were like "wtf you can't put a game at a 90% discount", so oh well, "50" it is lol

Is that a wallet in your pants, or are you happy to play this game (or it's free demo)?

Hey everybody, here's a quick little update on the game:

• Added a link to the Perfect Acorn Discord server in the extras section. We've been going through a lot of changes recently, and this is where we're most active... our YouTube + newsletter is a ghost town, and I turned the Twitter into a troll account, so uh... yeah, this is the best place to get live updates on things at the moment.
  
• Updated the tutorial to show that you can dash with the shift key.
• Fixed an issue on the Extras menu where the textbox under the 5 Challenges button overlapped the back button, making it harder to leave the menu.
  
• Updated Unity version to 2017.4.35f1. Wow! That's a 0.0.3 improvement from the previous version!
  

The demo has also been updated to include the 5 Challenges stage, as well as checkpoints.

Thanks for playing! Sorry about the lack of sperm puns, I haven't been feeling it lately... which is funny, because I turned 18 earlier this month. Or maybe that explains it, I don't know...

But yet again, thanks to everybody still playing! If you want more content, leave a review, start a discussion, whatever!

Do you have trouble controlling Steven? Many people do. I stand by Steven's movement with a sort of "get-good" mentality, but admittedly, this has been an issue not just post-release, but even while the game was being developed internally in Perfect Acorn.

Well now there's a solution! Simply:

1. Right click STS in your library and click "properties".
   
2. Go to the 'betas' tab, click the dropdown list, and choose "rotation".
   
3. Download the update and start playing!
   

I hope this helps make STS a more enjoyable experience for those of you who were having trouble.

There was also a new update for all users, 1.3.1. Here's the changelog:

• The 5 Challenges stage now has music.
  
• Updated the Acorn logo on the splash screen.
  
• First run Acorn logo now says copyright 2019 instead of 2018.
  

Yeah, that's about it.

Us here at Perfect Acorn are working on lots of cool stuff. It's just all very early and we're going through senior year of highschool, so it may be a bit bumpy!

Love ya'll.

Hey everybody! Here's a pretty minor update:

• New Acorn logo. I made the old one a long time ago. It was crooked. It was bad. This one is good.
  
• Updated Unity version from 2017.3 to 2017.4.whatever.LTS. It really doesn't matter, I doubt it improved performance, and I don't think it changed system requirements. Just thought I'd say.
  
• Got rid of Unity analytics. Apparently I turned them on at some point. I never knew I did. I turned them off not only because I don't use them and don't want you guys to have to worry about data collection, but maybe having them on would require me to say some legal crap I've never said.
  
• Removed some unused assets.
  

Wow. I can't believe it.



I wanna take this moment to once again thank everybody who came out of nowhere to support Perfect Acorn. Just a year ago, I never would've imagined ANYBODY would even find our game, much less actually go and play it.

Steven the Sperm is the first game we've ever published, and it's been a wild ride. We have so many great memories of updating and improving the game, making a bunch of stupid little mistakes, and even watching the random lets-players who we've never even met actually take the time to sit down, play the game, and make a video on it. Just because we aren't a triple-A title, doesn't mean we haven't accomplished so much.

Special Thanks to These People:

Zero Tolerance, ImTheSelected, KingJohn, and Dackson - These are the lets-players (or at least video makers) we're talking about - if you guys are actually still keeping up with the game, let me just extend my biggest possible thanks to you guys, and I hope you guys like how the game has progressed! We've compiled a playlist of all their videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-t-SdUM-1xs4FyBa67Z-mD-6MDxskLj9

NgheeApprentice - The first person to join the Public Perfect Acorn Discord Server!