Chair F*cking Simulator News

[h2]What’s that, you say? [/h2]
You found yourself taken aback by sedentary allure & pleasure?
A minor but curvy update has appeared to improve your simulation satisfaction.

* A new chair and 2 new variations have hatched from their eggs and now appear in the regular lineup as a teaser for now.
* Fixed some animations with wooden chairs
* New terrible & wonderous text strings added to the profiler
* Fixed a cheat code
* Other minor fixey junk

More chairs have caught word and are making their way for the future.
Aye! Your stairwells will overlfow with joy. Stop, drop, and update Chair F*cking Simulator so you can get new content.

[h3]Dust off the f*ck bin, because in these uncertain times you're going to need every last scrap in there.[/h3]
Put aside your differences with every chair, because they all need to GIDDIT.
Don't forget to charge your phone, and put a clean sock on each toe.

[h3]Most importantly[/h3]
If our chair match-making service improved or ruined your life, please let us know in the Steam review cube.

[h3]Launch❤️day🧡is💛tomorrow.💚It💙crawls💜ever❤️closer,🧡like💛a💚sock💙full💜of❤️filth🧡hamsters.[/h3]

Alright bergère buckaroos! Steam review stuff is getting sorted out, and we have a locked in release date
[h2] ▬▬ ｡ﾟ・*.☆ﾟ JULY 7TH ☆ﾟ.*・｡ﾟ ▬▬▬[/h2]
Please refrain from destroying the universe until then. Or do your best at least. 💺 🥂 🪑

Ok well, hello beloved chair courting companions.
The Steam review process has been taking much longer than expected, possibly because the earth is busy trying to blow itself up this year.

We allotted 2 weeks to get through testing, but admittedly we also did show up with a game called Chair F*cking Simulator, so we can't really fault Steam for wanting to be super thorough when it comes to ChairF*cking. At any rate, we'll post more info here when we hear back from the review crew and have a date 100% locked on.