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Stick It to the Stickman News

MERRY RENTRENCH-MAS! || PATCH NOTES AND COMPETITION

Valued Technofeudal Peasantry,
[p][/p][p]It has been a great honour working with you, Q4 has been a massive success for our Shareholders. Your bonuses have been converted to Company Points, which can be spent on Eggnog at the lobby vending machine.[/p][p][/p][p]With all of our holiday spirits combined, it is time to celebrate our first ever...[/p][p][/p][h2]RENTRENCH-MAS™![/h2][p][/p][p]We have come to the realisation that profits increase when we pay fewer salaries, and it's YOUR job to bring that number down. Congratulations on this opportunity! [/p][p][/p][p]"Retrench with impunity and joy. We're technically not making profit so it's legal!" as our Founder once said. Be inspired...[/p][p][/p][p]Fred from accounting? FIRED! [/p][p]Union Rep Richard? INCINERATED![/p][p]Peter the post boy? ABLAZE![/p][p][/p][p]Give the gift of an untimely termination this holiday. Did they do anything wrong? Who cares! We don't experience consequences from the top of our big pile of money![/p][p][/p][p]Check out these new additions in the Level Builder:[/p][p]🔥 Flamethrowers[/p][p]🔥 Bazookas[/p][p]🔥 Festive Electrocution Trees[/p][p][/p][p]... and not much more![/p][p][/p][p]Use these assets to build out your dream Rentrench-mas™ tower and enter the competition on our Discord. Entries will be accepted between the 19th and 31st of December. You can join here. [/p][p][/p][p][/p][p][/p][p][/p][hr][/hr][p][/p][p]We also fixed some bugs, but the guy who writes the patch notes got retrenched, so you'll have to figure that out for yourself. [/p][p][/p][p]Happy holidays, and we'll see you next year![/p]

MAJOR UPDATE || LEVEL BUILDER IS HERE

[p][/p][h2]Valued employees,[/h2][p][/p][p]Here at the Looming Corporate Entity™, we have always valued your entrepreneurial spirit. Your imagination. Your business acumen. Your willingness to go above and beyond Key Performance Indicators. We’ve seen the hours of unpaid overtime you’ve worked to give us new ideas on ways to move forward, and we’ve appreciated it.[/p][p][/p][p]But if you want a job done right, you do it yourself. So it’s time for you to be an industry leader…[/p][p][/p][p]Put your creativity to the test in the Level Builder![/p][p][/p][p]The Financial Tower is now in your hands, and its corporate structure at your fingertips. [/p]
  • [p]Customise your enemies/coworkers! From their attacks to their size, or their clothes to their voice lines. Hiring decisions are fully in your hands.[/p]
  • [p]Customise your stickman’s moves, weapons and abilities! Your unique skill set is valued, whether you’re a minigun fanatic or coffee addict or you are into necromancy, you are finally allowed to be yourself.[/p]
  • [p]Decorate your workplace. Feng shui your way to the top of the Stickmarket by placing explosives in risky areas, desks on the ceilings, or seven adjacent toilets for team building.[/p]
  • [p]Share your creations in the marketplace of ideas, also known as the Steam Workshop. Upload, download, and play. The world is your lobster, and lobsters are both profitable and delicious.[/p]
  • [p]Bring your imagination into the world of Stickman! As long as your imagination is a .glb file, it can be imported as a prop and even worn by your employees. These props can also be shared on the Steam Workshop.[/p]
[p]We look forward to seeing what you create with this opportunity. From family businesses owned by Private Equity, to mega corporations with market caps larger than small countries, the economy has never been more accessible.[/p][p][/p][p]Disclaimer:[/p][p]Level Builder is currently only available in English. We’re sorry about this, and will localise text into other languages when Level Builder is feature complete and stable.[/p][p]Creating levels is only possible with a keyboard and mouse.[/p][p]Level Builder levels are not currently available for 2 players.[/p][p]
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PATCH MEMO || SPOOKY SEASON

Dear employees of The Company,
[p][/p][p]It has come to the attention of the Shareholders that capitalising on a seasonal holiday will increase brand affinity, allow for the shipping of themed products, and make it appear as though we are "relatable human beings who enjoy fun." [/p][p][/p][p]As such, we have invested in an after-hours office party experience of a lifetime. Our new Snack Acquisition and Consumption policy is in effect, aligning with our Mandatory Fun Alignment Value System.[/p][p][/p][p]Clock into a Night Shift run for the full experience.[/p][p][/p][h2]CHANGELOG[/h2][hr][/hr][p]Night Shift:[/p]
  • [p]Killer Clowns invited[/p]
  • [p]Nosferatu invited[/p]
  • [p]Accountants invited[/p]
  • [p]New floors added[/p]
  • [p]Reception appropriately themed[/p]
  • [p]A couple more things, but we wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.[/p]
[p]World Map:[/p]
  • [p]Appropriately themed[/p]
[p]Other things:[/p]
  • [p]Added new trap rooms to Day Shift[/p]
[p][/p][hr][/hr][p][/p][p]Available now.[/p][p][/p][p][/p]

HOTFIX || Unpaid overtime

[p][/p][p][/p]
  • [p]You are no longer forced to only play Night Shift. Whoops![/p]

PATCH MEMO || TANKS AND NECROMANCERS

[p][/p][p][/p][p]The value of STKMN stocks continue to rise with another live video game program update. The only “tanking” we’re doing involves deploying military forces into cities.[/p][p][/p][h2]CHANGELOG[/h2][hr][/hr][p]Big things:[/p]
  • [p]Tanks now spawn in the City Map when your wanted level reaches 5 stars[/p]
  • [p]A new archetype! Gather an army of the undead with the Necromancer (Night Shift)[/p]
  • [p]Some bosses have been polished and made a little more resilient[/p]
[p]Small things:[/p]
  • [p]Blood machine is maybe a bit better[/p]
  • [p]Cars can now reverse with tank controls enabled[/p]
  • [p]The Handshake move tree no longer effects allies[/p]
  • [p]Icons for currencies have been updated[/p]
  • [p]Other boring bug fixes[/p]
[hr][/hr][p][/p][p]Until next time, Sticko.[/p][p][/p][p][/p]